The Unwritten Rules of Madrid: What Nobody Tells You Before You Arrive

Nobody tells you that dinner at 7pm makes you a tourist, or that kissing strangers on both cheeks is just how you say hello, or that the entire city shuts down for two hours every afternoon and everyone acts like this is completely normal.

Welcome to Madrid, where the cultural rules are different, mostly unwritten, and absolutely essential to not looking like a confused foreigner for your entire stay.

This is everything nobody bothered to mention before you got here.

Time Works Differently Here

Spanish Time vs. Your Time

The Reality:
Spaniards eat, sleep, and socialize on a completely different schedule than most of the world. It’s not “wrong”—it’s just Spain.

Meal Times That Will Confuse You:

Breakfast (Desayuno): 7-9am

Light meal: coffee + toast or pastry
Often eaten standing at a bar
Not a big production

Mid-Morning Snack (Almuerzo): 11am-12pm

Second breakfast, basically
Bocadillo (sandwich) or another coffee
Keeps you going until lunch

Lunch (Comida): 2-4pm

The MAIN meal of the day
Heaviest, longest meal
Many businesses close 2-4pm for this
Menú del día is designed for this

Snack (Merienda): 6-7pm

Coffee and pastry
Tides you over until dinner
Optional but common

Dinner (Cena): 9pm-midnight

Light meal (supposedly)
10-11pm is peak dinner time
Restaurants don’t even open until 8:30-9pm

Your American/British/Northern European Brain:
“Why is dinner at 10pm? That’s insane.”

Spanish Logic:
“Why would you eat dinner at 6pm? The sun is still up. That’s a snack.”

When Things Are Actually Open

The Siesta Myth vs. Reality:

The Myth:
Everyone takes a 3-hour nap every day.

The Reality:

Large businesses and chains stay open (supermarkets, malls)
Small shops close 2-5pm or 2-4pm
It’s for lunch and rest, not necessarily sleeping
Banks definitely close
Government offices definitely close
Your landlord will definitely be unreachable

What This Means for You:

Need to go to the bank? Do it before 2pm
Doctor appointment? Morning only
Government paperwork? Good luck after lunch
Shopping at Zara? Open all day
Grocery shopping? Big chains stay open

Student Strategy: Handle all admin tasks in the morning. Afternoon is for studying, walking around, or actually taking a nap.

Spanish Punctuality (Or Lack Thereof)

The Spanish Time Rules:

Official Events:

Classes: Be on time
Doctor appointments: Be on time
Bank appointments: Be on time
Government offices: Be early

Social Events:

Party starts at 10pm = arrive at 11pm or later
“Let’s meet at 8pm” = 8:15-8:30pm is fine
Dinner reservation at 9pm = 9:10pm is acceptable
Coffee at 5pm = anywhere between 5pm-5:30pm

How to Navigate This:

Ask: “¿A la hora española o a la hora inglesa?” (Spanish time or English time?)
For classes/appointments: Be on time
For meeting friends: Add 15-30 minutes
For parties: Definitely don’t show up on time

Cultural Difference:
Being slightly late to social events isn’t rude—it’s expected. Being punctual to a party makes you the weird one.

The Cheek Kiss Greeting (Dos Besos)

How It Actually Works

The System:
Spanish people greet friends, acquaintances, and even new people with two kisses (one on each cheek).

The Method:

Right cheek first (your right, their left)
Then left cheek
Your cheeks don’t actually touch
You’re air-kissing near their cheek
Sometimes there’s a slight “mwah” sound
The whole thing takes 2 seconds

When to Do It:

Meeting friends
Saying goodbye to friends
Being introduced to someone at a party
Greeting your Spanish roommate’s parents
Saying hi to your landlord
Most social situations

When NOT to Do It:

Professional settings (business meetings = handshake)
Meeting your professor for the first time
Buying something at a store
Interacting with service workers
When the other person extends their hand first

The Learning Curve

Week 1: Panic every time someone leans in. Accidentally headbutt someone. Very awkward.

Week 2: Start to get the rhythm. Still occasionally go for the wrong cheek first.

Week 4: You’re doing it naturally. Going home for a visit and confusing your American friends.

Common Mistakes:

The actual kiss: Don’t actually kiss their cheek firmly. It’s air + slight contact.
Wrong cheek first: Right cheek first (your right). Always.
Too much distance: Don’t lean in from 2 feet away. Close personal space.
One kiss only: It’s TWO. Don’t stop at one.
Hugging instead: The hug comes after the kisses, if at all.

Gender Rules:

Woman + Woman: Always two kisses
Man + Woman: Always two kisses
Man + Man: Handshake or one-arm hug (unless close friends)

Pro Tip: When in doubt, follow the other person’s lead. If they go for kisses, do kisses. If they extend a hand, shake hands.

Noise Levels & Living Loud

Spanish Volume Settings

The Reality:
Spaniards talk LOUD. Like, really loud. In restaurants, on the street, in their apartments, on the phone. Volume is just… higher here.

What This Means:

In Restaurants:

Background noise is significant
Everyone talks over each other
This is normal, not rude
You’ll need to raise your voice to be heard

In Apartments:

Your neighbors are audible
They can hear you too
Thin walls are standard
Late-night noise is common (especially weekends)

On the Street:

People have full-volume conversations at midnight
Nobody is trying to be quiet
This is just how public space works

On Public Transit:

Phone conversations at full volume
Friend groups talking loudly
Not considered rude

Cultural Difference:
What feels like “too loud” in other cultures is normal speaking volume in Spain. You’ll adjust. You’ll also probably get louder.

Nighttime Noise Reality

The Situation:
Madrid is LOUD at night, especially on weekends.

What You’ll Hear:

People leaving bars at 2-4am
Street conversations until sunrise
Neighbors hosting parties
Delivery scooters
Street cleaning trucks at 5am
General city noise

Survival Tips:

Invest in earplugs (seriously, buy good ones)
White noise app on your phone
Fan for background noise
Accept that sleep schedules are different here
Don’t fight it—join it

Friday/Saturday Nights:
Your street will be loud until 4-5am. This is Spain. Embrace it or invest in excellent earplugs.

Tipping Culture (Or Lack Thereof)

How Tipping Actually Works in Spain

The Simple Truth:
Tipping is not expected in Spain. Like, at all. Service is included in prices.

Restaurant Tipping:

Leave small change (€1-2) if service was good
Round up the bill if you want
5-10% for exceptional service
Zero tip is completely acceptable and normal

Café/Bar Tipping:

Leave the small coins
Or don’t
Literally no one cares

Taxi Tipping:

Round up to the nearest euro
Or don’t
Driver won’t expect it

Hotel/Service Tipping:

Not expected
€1-2 if someone helped with bags
Not required at all

Why This Is Amazing:
The price you see is the price you pay. No math, no guilt, no figuring out percentages. €10 meal = €10 total.

American Students:
Your instinct will be to tip 15-20%. You can if you want, but locals will know you’re a tourist. Save that money for more tapas.

When to Tip:

Truly exceptional service (rare but happens)
Very high-end restaurants (small amount)
If you feel like it (genuinely optional)

Food Culture Quirks

The Bread Situation

The Rule:
Bread is served with every meal. It’s not an appetizer—it’s a utensil.

How Locals Use It:

Soak up sauce on your plate
Make mini sandwiches with your meal
Clean your plate at the end
Use it to push food onto your fork

Cultural Note:
Using bread to soak up sauce is encouraged, not considered rude. An empty plate with no sauce is a compliment to the chef.

Water Isn’t Automatically Free

The Situation:

Tap water is safe to drink in Madrid
Restaurants don’t automatically bring water
If you ask for water, they’ll bring bottled (and charge you)
Want free water? Specifically ask for “agua del grifo” (tap water)

How to Order:

“Agua, por favor” = Bottled water (€2-3)
“Agua del grifo, por favor” = Tap water (free, but some places resist)

Reality Check:
Many restaurants prefer to sell bottled water. Some will act like tap water doesn’t exist. Be polite but firm if you want free tap water.

Coffee Culture Is Specific

Types of Coffee:

Café con leche: Half coffee, half milk (most common breakfast coffee)
Café solo: Espresso
Cortado: Espresso with small amount of milk
Café americano: Espresso with hot water
Café con hielo: Coffee with ice (for summer)

What Doesn’t Really Exist:

Drip coffee (not a thing)
Starbucks-style large coffees (Spanish coffee is small and strong)
Free refills (definitely not)

Ordering Iced Coffee:
Don’t order “iced coffee” and expect cold brew. Order “café con hielo”—they’ll bring hot coffee and a glass of ice, you pour the coffee over the ice yourself. It’s a whole thing.

After Lunch:
Spaniards drink coffee after lunch, not during. Ordering coffee with your meal marks you as a tourist.

Social Customs & Interactions

Personal Space Is Smaller

The Reality:
Spanish people stand closer, touch more during conversation, and generally have smaller personal space bubbles than Northern Europeans or Americans.

What This Looks Like:

Closer standing distance in conversations
Hand on your arm while talking
Close proximity on public transit (even when not crowded)
Tighter seating in restaurants and cafés

Not Rude:
Touching your arm during conversation is friendly, not creepy. Standing “too close” is normal distance here.

Adjust Your Settings:
You’ll get used to it. After a few months, your own personal space bubble will shrink. Going home will feel weirdly distant.

Queue Culture (Sort Of)

The Spanish Queue System:
It exists, sort of, but it’s… flexible.

How It Works:

Lines exist at banks, post office, government offices
Take a number, wait your turn
Everyone respects this

How It Doesn’t Work:

Bars and cafés: No line, just crowd the bar and make eye contact with the bartender
Small shops: First come, first served, but it’s loose
Public transit: Technically a queue, but pushing is common

The Bar Ordering System:

Approach the bar
Make eye contact with bartender
They’ll acknowledge you with a nod
Wait your turn (they remember who was there first)
Order when they come to you
Don’t wave money or snap fingers (rude)

Cultural Patience:
Spaniards are patient in official lines (banks, government). They’re aggressive at bars and on the metro. Learn which situation requires which behavior.

Smoking Is Still Common

The Reality:
More people smoke in Spain than in many other Western countries, especially among younger people.

Where People Smoke:

Outdoor terraces (very common)
On the street while walking
Outside bars and clubs
Pretty much anywhere outdoors

Where They Can’t Smoke:

Indoor spaces (banned since 2011)
Public transit
Inside restaurants and bars

What This Means:

Outdoor dining = probably some smoke nearby
Clubs have outdoor smoking areas (patios get crowded)
Walking behind someone smoking = common
Not everyone smokes, but many do

Non-Smoker Survival:
Choose indoor seating when possible, or accept that outdoor terraces come with secondhand smoke.

Living Situations & Apartment Life

Heating Doesn’t Work Like You Think

The Reality:
Madrid apartments often have minimal heating. Central heating is rare. You will be cold in winter.

Common Heating Systems:

Individual radiators (expensive to run)
Space heaters (fire hazard)
Air conditioning with heat function (only heats one room)
Nothing (seriously, some apartments have nothing)

Winter Survival:

Layer clothing indoors
Blankets are your friend
Heated blanket investment (€30-50)
Stay in bed longer
Spend time at heated cafés and libraries

Cultural Difference:
Spaniards are used to being cold indoors in winter. They wear sweaters inside. You will too.

Hot Water Is Limited

The Situation:
Many apartments have limited hot water capacity. Take a long shower, and it runs out.

The System:

Electric or gas water heater (small tank)
Takes time to reheat
Running out mid-shower is common

Living with Roommates:

Coordinate shower times
Don’t take 30-minute showers
If someone just showered, wait 20-30 minutes
Morning shower rush = strategy required

Pro Tip: Shower at off-peak times or be quick.

Buildings Are Old and Loud

The Reality:
Madrid buildings are often 50-100+ years old. They’re beautiful but not soundproof.

What You’ll Experience:

Hearing neighbors through walls
Creaky floors (yours and upstairs)
Old elevators (tiny, loud, and slow)
Footsteps from above
Doors slamming echoing through building

Elevator Etiquette:

Greet others in the elevator (“Hola”)
Let people exit before entering
Don’t hold the door for someone far away
Elevators are TINY (2-3 people max)

Neighbor Relations:

Say hello to neighbors
Try to keep noise reasonable (though standards are different here)
Don’t stress too much about being loud—everyone is

Metro & Transportation Culture

Metro Escalator Rules

The Rule:
Stand on the right, walk on the left. Always. No exceptions.

Don’t Be That Person:
The tourist standing on the left during rush hour blocking everyone. Madrileños will literally push past you.

Rush Hour Reality:
7:30-9:30am and 6-8pm = packed metro. Stand on the right or be judged.

Public Transit Behavior

What’s Normal:

Standing close together (personal space shrinks)
Light pushing to exit (not aggressive, just efficient)
Not talking on crowded trains
Giving up seats for elderly/pregnant people
Eating and drinking is okay

What’s Rude:

Blocking doors when train is crowded
Loud music without headphones
Backpack at full height during rush hour (take it off)
Not moving into the train car (standing in doorway)

Pro Tip:
Take your backpack off during rush hour and hold it in front of you. More space for everyone.

Spanish Social Life

Making Spanish Friends Takes Time

The Reality:
Spanish people often have friend groups from childhood. They’re friendly but their social circles are established.

What This Means:

Making casual acquaintances: Easy
Getting invited to deep friend group activities: Takes time
Being adopted by a Spanish family: Possible but requires effort

How to Break In:

Language exchange groups (actually talk, don’t just “practice”)
University clubs and activities
Sports teams or leagues
Be patient and persistent
Learn Spanish (seriously, it helps)

Cultural Difference:
In some cultures, friendship forms quickly. In Spain, it’s slower but potentially deeper.

Going Out Means GOING OUT

The Spanish Night:
When Spaniards say “let’s go out,” they mean ALL NIGHT.

The Timeline:

10pm: Meet for drinks (pre-game)
Midnight: Hit the bars
2am: Go to a club
5-6am: Churros for breakfast
7am: Finally go home
2pm next day: Wake up

Student Reality:
You don’t have to do this every weekend. But if you go out, expect it to be long. There’s no “I’ll be home by midnight” option.

Survival Strategy:

Nap before going out
Pace yourself on drinks
Eat dinner before (€10-15 at club bars is robbery)
Know the last metro time (or plan for taxi/morning metro)

“Let’s Get Coffee” Means Something

The Situation:
Spanish people socialize over coffee constantly. “Let’s get coffee” is how friendships happen.

What It Means:

Genuine interest in hanging out
Minimum 1-2 hours of conversation
Not a quick 20-minute coffee run
Possibly multiple coffees or moving to lunch

How to Respond:

Say yes (this is how you make friends)
Clear your schedule for 2+ hours
Bring wallet for your own coffee (not a date unless specified)
Actually show up (flaking is rude)

Coffee Spots:
Check out student-friendly cafés or Casa Victoria for affordable options.

Money & Payment Culture

Cash vs. Card Reality

The Situation:
Spain is increasingly card-friendly, but cash is still king in many situations.

Where You NEED Cash:

Small neighborhood bars
Older restaurants
Markets (El Rastro, neighborhood markets)
Street vendors
Some small shops
Splitting bills with friends

Where Cards Work:

Supermarkets
Chain restaurants
Most cafés
Large stores
Metro (though cash works too)

Student Strategy:
Always carry €20-40 in cash. You’ll need it more than you expect.

Splitting Bills (La Cuenta)

How It Works:
Splitting bills in Spain can be annoying. Many restaurants don’t like to split.

Options:

Pay together, split later: One person pays, others Bizum/transfer them
Ask to split: “¿Podemos pagar por separado?” (Sometimes they’ll do it, sometimes no)
Cash: Everyone throws in cash for their portion

Bizum:
Spanish instant payment app. Everyone uses it. Get it. Makes splitting bills infinitely easier.

Cultural Note:
The concept of “separate checks” isn’t as common. Be prepared to do math and transfer money.

Shopping & Service Culture

Customer Service Is Different

The Reality:
Spanish customer service is not like American “the customer is always right” culture.

What to Expect:

Less smiling and enthusiasm
More direct communication
Not overly accommodating
Efficiency over friendliness
This doesn’t mean they’re rude—it’s just different

Examples:

Store employees won’t approach you asking if you need help
Waiters won’t check on you constantly
You need to actively get their attention
Don’t expect apologies for minor issues

How to Adapt:

Take the lead (ask for what you need)
Be direct and clear
Don’t expect hand-holding
Don’t take it personally

Getting Service:

In restaurants: Make eye contact, raise your hand slightly
In stores: Approach an employee, say “Disculpa” (excuse me)
On the phone: Be clear and direct about what you need

Store Return Policies

The Reality:
Returns are more restrictive than in the US/UK.

Common Policies:

14-30 days for returns
Must have receipt
Tags attached, unworn/unused
Some stores: Store credit only, no refunds
No returns on sale items (often)

What This Means:
Try things on before buying. Check policies. Don’t buy on impulse expecting easy returns.

Language & Communication

English Isn’t Everywhere

The Reality:
Madrid has less English than you might expect for a major European capital.

Where English Works:

Tourist areas (Sol, Gran Vía)
International restaurants
Some chain stores
University settings
With other international students

Where It Doesn’t:

Neighborhood bars and restaurants
Grocery stores
Government offices
Healthcare (outside tourist areas)
Older people anywhere
Your landlord (probably)

Survival Spanish:
Learn these phrases immediately:

“No hablo español muy bien” (I don’t speak Spanish well)
“¿Hablas inglés?” (Do you speak English?)
“Más despacio, por favor” (Slower, please)
“¿Cómo se dice… en español?” (How do you say… in Spanish?)

Reality Check:
The more Spanish you speak, the better your experience will be. Take it seriously.

Formality Rules (Tú vs. Usted)

The System:
Spanish has informal (tú) and formal (usted) versions of “you.”

When to Use Usted:

Elderly people
Professors (until they tell you otherwise)
Doctors and medical professionals
Government officials
Police
First time meeting someone significantly older

When to Use Tú:

People your age
Friends and peers
Casual situations
After someone says “Tutéame” (use tú with me)

Student Reality:
Use usted when in doubt. People will correct you if they want tú. Going too informal is worse than being overly polite.

Holidays & Calendar Quirks

Everything Closes for Holidays

The Situation:
Spanish holidays = everything shuts down. And there are A LOT of holidays.

Major Closures:

January 1 (New Year’s)
January 6 (Three Kings Day)
Easter (Thursday-Monday, everything closed)
May 1 (Labor Day)
August (half the city leaves for vacation)
December 25-26 (Christmas)

Regional Holidays:
Madrid has its own holidays (May 2, May 15, November 9) where the city shuts down but other regions don’t.

What Closes:

Government offices
Banks
Most shops
Many restaurants
Some supermarkets

Student Strategy:
Check the holiday calendar. Stock up on groceries before major holidays. Plan around closures.

August Vacation Migration

The Phenomenon:
In August, Madrileños leave the city en masse. Businesses close for 2-4 weeks.

What Happens:

Small businesses close
Some restaurants close
Neighborhoods feel empty
It’s hot anyway
Tourists take over

Student Experience:
If you’re here in August:

It’s quiet (weirdly quiet)
Many usual spots are closed
Great time to explore without crowds
Very hot (38-40°C some days)

The Bottom Line: Just Roll With It

Things That Will Confuse You:

Dinner at 10pm
Everything closing for 3 hours at 2pm
Kissing everyone you meet
Noise levels everywhere
Different sense of personal space
Thin walls and cold apartments

Things You’ll Adapt To:
All of it. Faster than you think.

Things You’ll Miss When You Leave:

Late dinners with friends
Cheap menú del día
The energy and noise
Social coffee culture
How walkable everything is
The constant sunshine

The Truth:
These “unwritten rules” seem overwhelming at first. Give it a month. You’ll be kissing cheeks, eating dinner at 11pm, and complaining about tourists in Puerta del Sol like a real Madrileño.

That’s the Como Local difference.

Quick Reference: Essential Rules

Time: Lunch 2-4pm, Dinner 10pm+
Greeting: Two kisses (right cheek first)
Tipping: Optional, small change only
Volume: Everything is louder here
Personal Space: Smaller than you’re used to
Punctuality: On time for official, late for social
Shopping: Bring your own bags
Language: Learn basic Spanish immediately
Metro: Stand right, walk left

Most Important Rule: Be patient with yourself and the culture. You’ll figure it out.

Ready to navigate Madrid like a local? Embrace the cultural differences, laugh at your mistakes, and remember that every confused moment is part of the experience.

Share your culture shock moments and adaptation tips with other students in our community. Tag Como Local with your “wish someone had told me” stories!

Como Local – Because understanding the culture is half the adventure. 🇪🇸